What a Weekend!

This time last week i'm sure I was blogging about the absolute pain that I was in after my first Olympic rehearsal.

This weekend, is no better. In fact it is 10x worse.

I had a bad rehearsal. I was absolutely shattered by about 11am and struggling to stand up. The moves were getting faster and faster, and the choreographers were pushing us to the limit. In a 5 hour rehearsal we get 1 15min break and 1 10min break. During both of which I was literally crawling along the floor to my water and Powerade.

I felt like crying. My body was screaming at me to stop. I wasn't out of breath (so it shows i'm not unfit) but I just couldn't get my body to move fast enough.

I also had completely the wrong shoes on. I came out without my trainers and had t rush to M&S yesterday to buy some "boat" shoes, uncushioned and needing to be worn in properly, it just led to excruciating pain every time I moved my feet as my blossoming blisters rubbed ever more against them. 

Was I going to show my pain?? I tried so hard not to, but for the last hour I just lost it. My brain couldn't focus on the routines, and looking at my reflection in the studio mirror I looked visibly shattered.

I came out of the rehearsal when it finished, and just burst into floods of tears. I had a mile walk back to Stratford station, limping and crying for most of the way. My bag (containing only overnight essentials) felt heavier than ever. 

I could hear myself audibly shouting at myself to keep walking, as I so badly wanted to collapse at the side of the road. People did a double take at me, as I looked like I had just run the London Marathon. Someone even asked me "What time did you finish in?"

I made it back to the station. And for the rest of the journey, just rubbed my poor feet and got my breath back, sipping energy drink, occasionally letting a little tear fall down my cheek.

What was I doing??

I kept asking myself why I was doing this. It's not fun. I'm not enjoying it. And seriously, you look around and everyone else is coping fine. Why couldn't I do it?

If you had asked me at Stratford "Do you want to quit this?" my answer would have been YES! I couldn't understand why I was putting myself through all this grief and pain, all in the name of volunteering!

Ask me the same question now (now I'm back home and in bed) my answer is NO!

Yes it is unbelievably painful. Yes it is VERY difficult. Yes they are pushing you to the max. And even, No i'm not enjoying it (YET) time will heal. (and quite a few plasters and bandages) But the honor of being involved in this, it's a once in a lifetime opportunity. People are so proud of what I have achieved and I ca't let them down.

All this is such a stark contrast to my day yesterday. I was re-united with my (ex) boyfriend after 5 months of being apart, and long periods of not speaking. It's been a hard time. 

However, I am now the happiest and luckiest girl alive. A spark has been re-kindled. Yet I was desperate to phone him today during my desperate walk back to the station. However, I knew he would have wanted me to get through it on my own, crying to him would have achieved nothing. It would have been a big step backwards if I had!

And right now, I cannot feel anything from my shoulders out, or my hips down. But i'm in bed, so i'm quite safe! :)

Weight Loss, the Secret?

So, I couldn't believe my luck this morning when I stepped on the scales (I very rarely weigh myself as it's just too depressing) and I found out I had lost a STONE in weight in the last month.

So how did I do it? What is the secret? 


Well, to be honest, i have no idea how I have lost so much weight in so little time, and I have no secret!


I work out regularly twice a week, 2 x 1 hour classes of Zumba, where I always opt for the high impact workout. I occasionally walk, albeit not very far, either a mile into town or 1/4 mile to my local shop. And that is about it as far as exercise is concerned.


As for food, i EAT. I will pretty much eat what I want, when I want it. I do snack occasionally. I guess my portion sizes have decreased over the last year or so....no idea why. But as much as I love a good caesar salad, I will usually go for anything with carbohydrates....potatoes, pasta, bread, CHIPS!


Stress level - HIGH! Well, high for me, pretty much medium/low for anyone else! :) I've had alot of nervous energy lately, what with driving lessons, love life and work. But I have never seen how nervous energy can actually be fat burning! :S 


I should have taken a before and after photo! People could see the difference for themselves. My work collegues have all noticed a difference, even my own family! The person who noticed most was my manager. She has been off sick for a good month or so, and when I saw her the other day all I got was "WOW you've lost weight!" Especially around my upper arms and "gut" area.


I've even gone down a dress size. I usually like wearing more baggy clothes, i'm not a tight person! :D So i've usually gone for a size up from my normal, but now all those clothes are far too big for me. Jumble sale here I come!


Please nobody panic though (not that you will) I eat perfectly normally, i'm not starving myself. Trying to take food away from me is very difficult!!!!!


For the record, that is NOT my body in the photo, I can dream on!