Confessions of someone who has completely lost their way

My cat heard me crying and came running. Bless her. She doesn't usually, more likely she wants her dinner!
Okay, So I will hold my hands up and admit that I have never been one to control my emotions. I occasionally (like most people) need a bit of a cry.


I'm still stuck in this horrible pit of comparing myself to others. I always have done it, but recently it was all triggered off again by my meal out with old friends about a month ago. Unfortunately it knocked my confidence ALOT, and since then all I ever seem to do is spend my days.....almost longing for my life back again.


So to recap:
Left school at 16 with 9 GCSE's A*-B
Went onto 6th form - 3 AS levels B's and 2 aLevels C,D


I feel that anything I have achieved since then is just bollocks. Every extra qualification i've got, every bit of charity work i've done and every day of work experience I completed has led to nothing, and is appreciated by noone. 


I have a goal for September that I keep on telling people, but it seems good enough for nobody. I doubt myself because of what others say to me. Believe me, being torn between 2 posts is the worst feeling in the world. I walk towards something that I think I want, and that I think is good. But then suddenly i'm pulled in the other direction.
What pulls me that way?
People's comments. It could be anybody. To be honest, the worst people are those who are my own age. People I went to school with. I can think of 1 person in the whole of my 6th form who didn't go to uni (bar myself) and even they haven't exactly made a massive success of themselves, but they seem happy!

 I for one am not happy. 
People say they need the degree for jobs. Money is everything. Pushy Parents. Employers don't look at people with no degrees apparently.....does that mean me?


I'm sick and tired of it. People don't seem to realise how much their comments affect me. They are pushing me backwards when I was trying to move forwards. I gave up so much for my "friends" thinking that I possibly was as important in their lives as they in mine, for about 99.5% of the time I have been proved wrong. And as stated in previous posts, my friend count is now minimal. I have literally got nobody to turn to. 
My head is about to explode under the pressure that I feel i'm under. I even got so worked up earlier that I smashed my frame containing my Beauty Therapy Diploma.......


I have lost my way, and am unbelievably off course. Only 21, yet have so many regrets in life, mainly about my education. AND EDUCATION WAS NEVER THAT IMPORTANT TO ME! See what my bloody 6th form did to me (which by the way, is one of my biggest regrets)


Sometimes I can just pick myself up, but unfortunately the last month, I haven't been able to do that........the world is pushing me back into a hole that I have only just struggled out of