Where have i been???

HI EVERYBODY!!!!

Wow, so it has officially been ages since I wrote anything properly on here!! Sorry to have abandoned you all :(

BUT WHAT A SUMMER I HAVE HAD!

The Olympic Opening ceremony was officially amazing. One of the most special things I have ever done. I even managed to see myself on the television which was a bonus.

Then working in London over the Olympics was hard HARD work. Long hours, and on your feet all day, selling programmes in Excel Center. The pay was very rewarding though, even if the general public at that venue where a bit of a nightmare!!

Then to be invited back to do the Paralympic Opening Ceremony was just the icing on the cake. This routine was totally different from the Olympics, and on the whole felt more relaxed. I really only had about 10 rehearsals for this segment. Once again we were onstage for a long time, and yes did catch myself on tv :)

I am a bit sad that I saw so little sport over the summer. Working meant that I missed out on many of Britains sporting highlights, however I did manage to watch AND CHEER Usain Bolt in the 100m finals. EPIC. I did get tickets to a couple of events. I saw Water Polo in the Olynpics, and Para Equestrian and Para Swimming. The paralympic athletes really were an inspiration and it was quite emotional watching them. Talking of athletes, on Monday I went to watch the Athletes parade in London. I was given a special "ceremonies volunteer ticket" along the mall. It was incredible. I have never cheered and clapped so much in my life, and I stood wonderfully close to all of Britains great athletes. 

SO BLIMEY! What a summer!!!!

So what happens to me now??? 
Im back to normality with a massive crash. lol
Currently applying to jobs around the country, just so I can move out and start earning money. I had set my hopes on getting a Beauty Therapy job at Center Parcs, and unfortunately didn't get it. :( BUT never mind, job applications are still rolling.

LATEST NEWS: teehee, mind you many people are going to KILL me for saying this, seeing as I have been so against university in the past.....
- I have decided to try and study for a degree. But being me, I'm not going to take the usual path....
- I have signed up to a degree from the OPEN UNIVERSITY doing Natural Science (BSc), this is going to be a mega challenge for me as although I consider myself to be quite good at Biology and Geography, I'm not so hot at Maths or Physics. 

So where does this take me?
Well I will keep my options open with it. Im not ruling out University for 2013. At least with OU, i have a choice whether to continue studying with them or to convert the course to another University.

I shall keep you posted!!!
ANYWAYS, that was my quick catch up for you all. Will be checking in again soon!
xx

WoW 3000+ views!

Thanks for reading! :o)

Haven't posted on here much lately.

Times are a changin' and things keep moving forward.

I'm sure many of you have read the "leaking" of information about the Olympic Opening Ceremony.I for one was quite surprised upon hearing this information, nothing Danny Boyle said in the interviews was news to me, us volunteers had been told all this information before and we get to see it all happening at rehearsals.I was just surprised that information has been "leaked". We were under such scrutiny to keep everything a secret!!!Mind you, Danny has only revealed a TINY fraction of the ceremony plans. PLEASE don't look at his plans and say "oh how boring, not gonna watch that!". The ceremony will be a celebration of all things British. There will be something in it for everyone and I know you will love it! It is such an honor being a part of it all, and the realisation of the scale of what I am part of is slowly dawning on me!


I can always create a flip side here.

I still have the ongoing battle against university goers. People STILL looking down their noses at me, mind you not much about my life has changed (I did pass my driving test a couple of weeks ago with 2 minors! SO HA BEAT THAT!) 


I'm sure "friends" rather acquaintances will calm down in the next year or two. Most people my age have just completed their uni studies (I defy you to walk into a job in September)
And by next summer the vast majority of people I was around at school will have finished.


SOME DAYS I can get away with saying to myself "I don't need to prove anything to anyone" yet others I think "Oh god i really am a waster".


No I will not be earning a six figure salary, no I may not accept promotions nor even be offered them. No I won't live in a mansion, but hey what is exactly wrong with a council house? And if I change my career every 5 years, there is NOTHING wrong with that. 


Some people need to be careful. I have already turned my back on people that once cared about me, because they couldn't accept my choices, believe me I WILL do it again. < - Man is that UBER bitch or what?! Another UBER bitchy thing I do is to somethings coax things out of people.....let me explain.....
- If someone starts down the old "university is it" road, I will try and coax out their real feelings, usually by pretending that what they are saying either 
a) Doesn't hurt me
b) I pretend to agree with what they are saying, acting as if I have had a "change of heart"


Based on their comments during this conversation I either EMBRACE or DITCH. Be warned people.


But seriously, do NOT let others judge you. Turn your back on people who cannot accept you for who you really are, it's they who have the problem not you!

Confessions of someone who has completely lost their way

My cat heard me crying and came running. Bless her. She doesn't usually, more likely she wants her dinner!
Okay, So I will hold my hands up and admit that I have never been one to control my emotions. I occasionally (like most people) need a bit of a cry.


I'm still stuck in this horrible pit of comparing myself to others. I always have done it, but recently it was all triggered off again by my meal out with old friends about a month ago. Unfortunately it knocked my confidence ALOT, and since then all I ever seem to do is spend my days.....almost longing for my life back again.


So to recap:
Left school at 16 with 9 GCSE's A*-B
Went onto 6th form - 3 AS levels B's and 2 aLevels C,D


I feel that anything I have achieved since then is just bollocks. Every extra qualification i've got, every bit of charity work i've done and every day of work experience I completed has led to nothing, and is appreciated by noone. 


I have a goal for September that I keep on telling people, but it seems good enough for nobody. I doubt myself because of what others say to me. Believe me, being torn between 2 posts is the worst feeling in the world. I walk towards something that I think I want, and that I think is good. But then suddenly i'm pulled in the other direction.
What pulls me that way?
People's comments. It could be anybody. To be honest, the worst people are those who are my own age. People I went to school with. I can think of 1 person in the whole of my 6th form who didn't go to uni (bar myself) and even they haven't exactly made a massive success of themselves, but they seem happy!

 I for one am not happy. 
People say they need the degree for jobs. Money is everything. Pushy Parents. Employers don't look at people with no degrees apparently.....does that mean me?


I'm sick and tired of it. People don't seem to realise how much their comments affect me. They are pushing me backwards when I was trying to move forwards. I gave up so much for my "friends" thinking that I possibly was as important in their lives as they in mine, for about 99.5% of the time I have been proved wrong. And as stated in previous posts, my friend count is now minimal. I have literally got nobody to turn to. 
My head is about to explode under the pressure that I feel i'm under. I even got so worked up earlier that I smashed my frame containing my Beauty Therapy Diploma.......


I have lost my way, and am unbelievably off course. Only 21, yet have so many regrets in life, mainly about my education. AND EDUCATION WAS NEVER THAT IMPORTANT TO ME! See what my bloody 6th form did to me (which by the way, is one of my biggest regrets)


Sometimes I can just pick myself up, but unfortunately the last month, I haven't been able to do that........the world is pushing me back into a hole that I have only just struggled out of